Somewhere Only We Know

Ok---I will warn you, every time i hear this song I start to cry. so this post revolves around this song. so here's a warning, you might be crying at the end of the song. Its Somewhere Only We Know by Keane, and for most of us, the trailer to the re-release of Winnie the Pooh in theaters!



Today after i dropped my girls off at vacation bible school, i decided to go for a nice long bike ride--just me, my bike, the ipod, and my phone on silent. I knew I wanted to push myself to see just how far i could ride. Now that I've google mapped to see how far I went, I'm not impressed. But I knew it was easy, and I could have gone farther. The weather was perfect--we had some pretty impressive storms last night, so there is a great breeze, the sun is shining and the humidity is low. It was a perfect ride. Except that everytime I got to a song I liked on the ipod, i would put it in the basket, and the ipod would change it to a song it liked. how frustrating!

As I approached the 30 minute mark of my ride, this song came on the ipod. I know I start to cry. I learned this when the trailer for Winnie the Pooh came on the night we learned about Rango. Winnie the Pooh is my husband's favorite disney/kid themed movie. He has told me all about playing pooh sticks in the park. He has enlightened me on so many other Winnie the Pooh facts as well. I, on the other hand, have never seen or read Winnie the Pooh. I was a Cinderella girl. I couldn't be bothered with a boy playing in the woods with a bear who likes honey and a tiger (yes, i know tigger), and a not so optimistic eeyore. I see that I do relate to eeyore very well right now, and my husband, while i like to say is owl, can also be a tigger at times!
But I don't think I realized how important Winnie the Pooh is to my husband until we took his parents out to dinner a couple of weeks ago. For the first time, his dad (my father in law) told me stories of Mario when he was little. We've been together for 4 years, and I've never seen his dad get sentimental--i guess that's one way he's changed through losing his 2 grandsons. And i was told how he and my husband would walk to the park and play pooh sticks, and told me in detail what that was. My husband was stunned into silence, because he was taking it all in--his father was joyfully telling stories of times they spent together. But at the same time, my heart ached. I know he's tried to play pooh sticks with the girls, but they just aren't patient enough. I know he wants a baby to buy all the pooh stuff for.
i know i was planning for father's day to get him a little winnie the pooh doll...but after Rango I knew it wasn't a good idea. So, i thought this was why the song made me cry--all the broken hopes and dreams that winnie the pooh represented (and the song described).
so, being sad, and pedaling through the tears, i decided to stop at the cemetary on the way home. i wanted to see how robbie's tree was doing. i broke down, and cried. i kneeled down, and just prayed to God to let me have my babies back. I miss them so much. When I calmed down, I asked Him to please hold them on their laps, to read them stories, and give them a big hug and kiss for me, and tell them how much I love them. I thanked Him for my girls, and how I want to be there for them right now, but i know A really misses her brothers too, and E wants us to have another baby.
I asked for a sign, something, anything, that my boys were okay, and they were watching us. My husband and girls get pennies--which is awesome, and i know they love it. My mind was just racing, and I was crying, and a great wind came up. And for the first time, I quieted my mind-just to listen to the wind, the birds and the other noises. I kneeled there, and the tears stopped. I wiped my eyes, and went to stand up. As I stood up, I saw underneath me were two dandelions--just two. One was smaller than the other. I wondered how I had kneeled there, looking down and had not noticed them. At first I didn't think anything of it. Then i turned to the left, and there were four dandelions--all different sizes. I turned to the right, and there were five dandelions--4 that ranged in size from small to large, and one really tall one that was just about to bloom. I circled around, and didn't see any other dandelions in that area---or ones in other areas that were less than 5. I went and got my phone, and took pictures of the 3 clusters. I took the two dandelions (that were directly under me), and they are in the boys memory box.
When I asked for a sign, I was doubtful. I was looking for pennies, or something shiny. I tried to tell myself if they do send something, its a miracle, because how would I not have seen it while standing there. But of course-flowers. my husband and girls know how i love my butterfly garden, and spending time there. i've been trying to protect the thistle because butterflies do need it. just because its a weed doesn't mean its not important. and maybe i'm just being sentimental, and really grasping at stuff to make it fit. But i don't think so in this case...i think that was God and my boys way of telling me they were with me, at that spot.
"Oh simple thing, where have you gone"...you are right there in front of me... i just need to be still and rest...

EDIT: After looking up dandelions, I learned that :
"Dandelions spread further, are more difficult to exterminate, and grow under more under adverse circumstances than most competitors."

"Most gardeners detest them, but the more you try to weed them up, the faster they grow."

"It ís recommended for stressed-out, internally sluggish, and sedentary people"

It also has properties for people that are run-down.... (found at http://www.wildmanstevebrill.com/Plants.Folder/Dandelion.html). interesting...never knew a weed could do so much!
check out this information too: http://www.wildmanstevebrill.com/Plants.Folder/Dandelion.html