I just came across this today. What a wonderful way to educate society about pregnancy loss. Please take a look and see if you can help!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
1 Year
It has been a year since our world turned upside down, and we learned how cruel life truly can be. Tomorrow will mark 1 year since we learned that Robbie died. It also is the anniversary of many changes that came into our lives--whether we wanted the change or not.
Its hard to believe how fast this year went by. When I remember the events that unfolded, it seems to be in slow motion. But life still goes on. Events happen, birthdays are celebrated, and the world continues no matter how earth shattering the news. And here we are...one year later.
We have two boys in Heaven...not one. We learned how deeply we wanted to have more children. We saw the depth of our love...for our sons that we had such a short time with...for our daughters...for our families...and for each other.
We have learned to cherish each day with the girls...the tears over homework and not knowing what to wear to school...and to have family game/movies nights more and computer time less. That the value in our family is spending quality time together...and not just being in the same room.
We realized that we deserve to be happy, and no one has the right to take that happiness away, or control if we are happy or not. We prioritized our life...work became just that....work, and family was the utmost priority. Work is not allowed to dominate our home life...even with the worst days.
We learned to let go, and we learned to forgive. As Shannon Tate-Simmons said "Forgiveness isn't for the other person, its for you to heal." A lesson we wished we learned earlier, but its never too late.
We know how important that kiss goodbye is in the morning, or whenever we leave the house. To tell everyone how much we love them--even if we just saw them several days in a row. Nothing is taken for granted in our lives. Our eyes were opened to just how quickly the ones we love can be taken from us.
We are grateful to have a home, not just a house. We are thankful to have been surrounded by so many friends (new and old) and family to carry us through the darkest days.
We learned that blood is thicker than water...but not always. There's always one in the family that doesn't get it, and is isolated. And that sometimes friendships can be repaired through the smallest of gestures. We found that we have more friends that really do care about us, who will support us and make us smile, and who we love hanging around to remember that while circumstances have made us older (maybe wiser), we are still young and have so much to enjoy from life.
We learned to have faith, and the necessity of hope. We renewed our faith in God, and are learning to trust that what He has planned for us is better than anything we can ask for. And we are showing our daughters how important hope, faith, love and trust is in any relationship.
I have watched as Mario has developed a bond with the girls that I didn't think was possible. I see how grateful he is to have a family...even if its not the one he planned on having.
We have seen how petty our arguments were, and how stupid and careless it was of us to waste our time bickering. Instead of wasting our time together its time to renew our marriage, our friendship, and make our time meaningful.
There is still heartache, grief, and sorrow. There is still the pain of waking up and knowing that we don't have a boys with us physically. The pain is definitely still there, although not directly on the surface. But one thing that is helping as this first year comes to a close is that life as we know it died with Robbie. But that doesn't mean our lives were over. In fact, in many, many ways we are just beginning a new chapter.
I decided a month ago that I am ready to try again. I don't know if we'll have an opportunity, and I don't know if the same thing is going to happen again. But I have to have faith and hope that whatever happens is for the good for myself and my family. Losing two babies killed me--it broke my heart. But my heart has mended, and I am ready to hope, to have faith that things may work out.
But to all of my followers who read the blog, and many who use it as a gauge to see how I'm doing...thank you. Thank you for reading, for commenting and for emailing me to check on me. I know I owe emails to so many of you! But this last month really has been a doozy. But I take comfort in that the year of firsts is over...first christmas, first thanksgiving, first birthday, etc. I will never forget my boys...they are with me every single moment of every day. But so are my daughters and my husband. It has been a sad year. But sad stuff happens. And a year ago I couldn't have seen any positive to come out of such a tragedy. But today I can, with the darkness behind us. And I have so much to be thankful for. So as I cry tonight, for lost hopes and dreams, for the couple last year that lost everything, or so they thought, I also realize how much that couple has gained. And hope for them that one day, their hopes and dreams do come true.
And I'll leave with with a picture taken just this weekend...of the young couple who had endured so much in the first 2 years of marriage. These two crazy kids just might make it after all!
Its hard to believe how fast this year went by. When I remember the events that unfolded, it seems to be in slow motion. But life still goes on. Events happen, birthdays are celebrated, and the world continues no matter how earth shattering the news. And here we are...one year later.
We have two boys in Heaven...not one. We learned how deeply we wanted to have more children. We saw the depth of our love...for our sons that we had such a short time with...for our daughters...for our families...and for each other.
We have learned to cherish each day with the girls...the tears over homework and not knowing what to wear to school...and to have family game/movies nights more and computer time less. That the value in our family is spending quality time together...and not just being in the same room.
We realized that we deserve to be happy, and no one has the right to take that happiness away, or control if we are happy or not. We prioritized our life...work became just that....work, and family was the utmost priority. Work is not allowed to dominate our home life...even with the worst days.
We learned to let go, and we learned to forgive. As Shannon Tate-Simmons said "Forgiveness isn't for the other person, its for you to heal." A lesson we wished we learned earlier, but its never too late.
We know how important that kiss goodbye is in the morning, or whenever we leave the house. To tell everyone how much we love them--even if we just saw them several days in a row. Nothing is taken for granted in our lives. Our eyes were opened to just how quickly the ones we love can be taken from us.
We are grateful to have a home, not just a house. We are thankful to have been surrounded by so many friends (new and old) and family to carry us through the darkest days.
We learned that blood is thicker than water...but not always. There's always one in the family that doesn't get it, and is isolated. And that sometimes friendships can be repaired through the smallest of gestures. We found that we have more friends that really do care about us, who will support us and make us smile, and who we love hanging around to remember that while circumstances have made us older (maybe wiser), we are still young and have so much to enjoy from life.
We learned to have faith, and the necessity of hope. We renewed our faith in God, and are learning to trust that what He has planned for us is better than anything we can ask for. And we are showing our daughters how important hope, faith, love and trust is in any relationship.
I have watched as Mario has developed a bond with the girls that I didn't think was possible. I see how grateful he is to have a family...even if its not the one he planned on having.
We have seen how petty our arguments were, and how stupid and careless it was of us to waste our time bickering. Instead of wasting our time together its time to renew our marriage, our friendship, and make our time meaningful.
There is still heartache, grief, and sorrow. There is still the pain of waking up and knowing that we don't have a boys with us physically. The pain is definitely still there, although not directly on the surface. But one thing that is helping as this first year comes to a close is that life as we know it died with Robbie. But that doesn't mean our lives were over. In fact, in many, many ways we are just beginning a new chapter.
I decided a month ago that I am ready to try again. I don't know if we'll have an opportunity, and I don't know if the same thing is going to happen again. But I have to have faith and hope that whatever happens is for the good for myself and my family. Losing two babies killed me--it broke my heart. But my heart has mended, and I am ready to hope, to have faith that things may work out.
But to all of my followers who read the blog, and many who use it as a gauge to see how I'm doing...thank you. Thank you for reading, for commenting and for emailing me to check on me. I know I owe emails to so many of you! But this last month really has been a doozy. But I take comfort in that the year of firsts is over...first christmas, first thanksgiving, first birthday, etc. I will never forget my boys...they are with me every single moment of every day. But so are my daughters and my husband. It has been a sad year. But sad stuff happens. And a year ago I couldn't have seen any positive to come out of such a tragedy. But today I can, with the darkness behind us. And I have so much to be thankful for. So as I cry tonight, for lost hopes and dreams, for the couple last year that lost everything, or so they thought, I also realize how much that couple has gained. And hope for them that one day, their hopes and dreams do come true.
And I'll leave with with a picture taken just this weekend...of the young couple who had endured so much in the first 2 years of marriage. These two crazy kids just might make it after all!
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